D.G. WITI'S MUD STORY

It was my senior year in high school in my smallish town (100,000 people) and we were bored. Some friends and I decided to take an offroad jeep and go mudding. I know what your thinking...aha....D.G. is a redneck.......on the contrary, but shit happens....anyways, after several hours of mudding we managed to get the jeep stuck. Whats worse is that the jeep owner was actualy my friends dad, and he of course had no idea that we took the jeep mudding.....we were just thinking, ok we'll go mudding, clean it off and he'll never know right?......wrong.......after calling several of our friends with trucks to see if they could help us pull out the jeep and with no one willing to mess up their trucks, I remembered that the girl that I just started dating had a brand new 2500 truck parked in her driveway........yeah, I went there.......the truck belonged to her dad and it was literally less than a week old, so I thought, new truck, powerful, her dad was out of town, so plenty of time to use it, get it detailed, and have it back in the driveway way before her dad gets back into town......well, as you can guess, that's not what happened or the story wouldn't even make the blog......
I drove to her house and met her and we both got into her dad's new truck. As we are driving to the mud hole, I ask her several times, not realy giving a shit, but asked her if she was sure it was ok to use the truck, and of course reminding her that it was literally our last hope to not get my friend in trouble. She said it was fine as long as we would pay to get it detailed before her dad got back.....simple enough....so we get to the mud hole, which is actualy a lake that was in low tide, and we drive out to where the jeep is....we made it out there just fine, hooked up the tow rope to the front of the jeep and to the tow hook on the new truck.....we started out fine, the jeep was coming out and we were making progress when all of a sudden the tires on the new truck just start spinning.....great, two trucks now stuck....we unhook the jeep to free up the truck and make another stab at it.....no joy....the truck was stuck like chuck and to make it worse, I was wearing my new Docs and all around the truck was mud......my new girlfriend is in the truck with me and as I am sweating bullets, she just laughs and says, don't worry, we'll figure it out....when I get out to unhook the tow rope, my foot gets sucked down into the mud and as I pull my foot out, my left new Doc is gone....fuck me....150.00 down the drain....literally it was gone with no trace.....so now I have one shoe on, one shoe off and pissed....so fuck it, I ditch the other shoe and walk out to dry land....my feet get cut up as I am walking out, so I am not going back to the truck....new girlfriend is calling me to come back out and get her and give her a piggy back ride to dry land.....I'm out....my buddy volunteers to do it and both he and my girl eat it twice on the way back....yeah I know, I am looking real good at this point in her eyes....well, after hours of trying to get someone else out to help us, we resort to calling a tow service......it's getting dark and the tow truck finally shows up. As I am still bare footed, and it's getting shit cold, my girl and I get into the cab of another truck and one of my friends volunteer to take the long as tow chain out to the stranded truck....the tow truck was going to stay on dry land so he had brought this rediculously long chain.....my friend gets back from hooking up the truck and tells the tow truck to go....for a split second it looked as though it was all gonna work out, but again, that wouldn't make the blog.....so here it is, a 2 ton tow truck connected to a brand new truck with a chain, and instead of pulling the slack out of the chain first and then trying to pull like common sense, he yells out "DIESEL POWER" and away he goes.....like I said, for a split second, it looked like it was going to work, and then it happened......The entire front end ( the bumper, grill, headlights, and radiator) of a week old Chevy truck comes ripping off and flys about 30 feet into the air, which in my perception took an hour of slowmo to accomplish, but only took about 3 seconds.....As I am trying to refrain from shitting my pants, I look around to find every single one of my friends laughing their ass off, and then I saw my girl....her head is burried in her hands, and all I can think to say is "shit did you see that?".....my friend comes up to me after he stops crying with laughter and says, " I think I hooked it up to the wrong thing...." NO SHIT.....
Long story short, we do eventually get both the truck and the jeep out of the mud....the tow truck driver helps us put the front end into the bed of the truck and tows her dad's truck back to her house....Needless to say I felt like shit, and so decided to do what any good Christian would.....Not only did I not go with her and the tow truck driver to drop off the mangled truck back to her house, I stopped accepting any phone calls that came from her area code....Now some of you may think, man what an ass....well, I agree, but it just goes to show, if the bitch doesn't suck, I don't give a fuck about her truck......See ya soon.................................